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2020.09.23 20:44 JeSuisJositoLA MÁS DRAGA – AN ENGLISH GLAM-UP
WATCH HERE Aló Pececitas! Next up, you’ll find out a very detailed review of La Más Draga’s 3x01, Hope you enjoy and if you want me to explain any special thing or regionalism you might not understand because you either don’t speak spanish or you do speak it but well, mexican slang…Enjoy! TIMESTAMPS! 00:00 – 3:10 – We see glimps at auditions for the season, from Queens who weren’t and were selected, towards the end we get a look at the Final Live Audition, where the public knowledge Queens are chosen to be a part of the season. 3:26 – 8:06 – Public knowledge Queens unveal themselves, they all chit-chat, talk and shade each other 8:07 – 13:43 – Secret Queens are revealed to the rest of the Cast. These Queens did not need to pass any Live audition, they were either asked to film an audition tape and were selected or their tape was enough for the producers to choose them.
13:45 – 39:48 – WORKROOM BANTER
Queens enter the workroom, sponsored by NYX Cosmetics. They are welcomed by Johnny Carmona, workroom consultant and judge, who welcomes and thanks them for bringing their art to the show. Johnny explains that they were supposed to be a 14th queen, who, was dropped because she couldn’t keep her mouth shut about being on (this queen might or might not be s2’s first eliminee), tells them to keep the energy. Johnny explains the first challenge, which is to present a Runway Look inspired by a very popular mexican board game: La Loteria (you might know Bingo!; which has the same mecanisms of game). Johnny gives them a History lesson about the game. The winner of this week will be deemed as “La Más Suertuda” (The Luckiest, LMD tends to use “La Más + theme” to refer to the winner of each weekly challenge, which means the one who was The Most amazing at it). A one-minute talent show is also requested to be performed after their runway presentation. Carmona later welcomes Internet sensation duo Pepe & Teo, who will also play as workroom consultant and stres relief for the Queens the whole season. Pepe and Teo play with the Queens a little game of General Knowledge, ask each a question and the one who can answer better will win the right to select their station in the workroom. Al lof them suck and should go back to middle school; later, Memo earns this right and plays the game by aligning the Queens by his perferences. Pepe and Teo then welcome one more guest, which is Gaby Lu, representative for FOREO Sweden, which is a skin care Brand that will help the Queens with free products for them. Queens shade Mista for her age and she is selected to be the try girl for the producto right there. Gaby Lu announces that the winner of the whole season will be awarded with 50.000 pesos in FOREO products and becoming an ambassador for the Brand for a year. 39:50 – 43:40 – Season 3’s host, our resident RuPaul; Miss Karla Díaz (Singer and host known for being in the girl group JNS) comes out in the mainstage, presents the prizes (150,000 pesos in cash, 50,000 pesos in NYX Cosmetics, 50,000 pesos in FOREO + ambassador, and a 2-people flight to New York) and judges: Johnny Carmona, Yari Mejía (make-up sensation, AFAB Drag Queen and Instagram influencer), Letal (make-up artist, drag queen and icon). Guest judge this episode is Miss Regina Orozco (Gay icon in México, Singer and TV personality). Karla also introduces the Drag Altar, which is the place where each week, the picture of the eliminee will be hung.
43:41 – 1:06:43 – RUNWAY + TALENT SHOW
Rudy Reyes: Rudy comes out as The Rooster, headpiece and wings included, all feathered. Her talent show is a lipsync mash-up of famous latino songs. Madison Basrey: Madison also chose The Rooster as her Loteria card; she comes out in a prostetic mask with a much simpler outfit than Rudy, with the addition of heles that give the appareance of chicken feet. Her talent show is a comedy skit centered around being an actual rooster. Huntyy B: Comes out in a dress with every Lotería card printed oni t with yellow and blue details. Her talent show is a Burlesque act. Luna Lansman: Luna comes out first with The Shrimp on her head and a silky blue robe, which she reveals into a giant The Fish gown, which she floats around for a while before taking off the top part to reveal a topless illusion and a mermaid tail in The Mermaid, she then strips to a full nude illusion. Her talent show is a Lipsynced Magic Show. Yayoi Bowery: Yayoi comes out as The World in an all baby-blue look and a 37 in one of her piggytails, 37 is the number for The World in a Loteria deck. Her talent show is singing. Regina Bronx: She comes out as The Mermaid, in a two piece gown which mimics scales all way around, with feathers on the bottom part. Her talent show is an arabic-inspired dance. Raga Diamante: Raga presents The Pot, coming out hidden inside of it, with flowers on top included. She then reveals a green and red bodysuit. Her talent show is singing. Aviesc Who?: Aviesc comes out as The Spider, with an asisstant as her web. Blue hair, and glasses that mimic the spider’s eight eyes. Her talent show is something about black paint and a canvas, posing slowly to the camera; she trips at the end while trying to finish her act. Mista Boo: Mista chooses The Devil, coming out with black horns and a caped long dress, with a trident as a belt accesory. Her talent show is a frightning spoken word act. Iviza Lioza: Iviza comes out as The Sun. She has an all-red gown with spikes on her back, which then she reveals are supposed to be the sun rays, but it malfunctions, the effect not working as it should. Her talent show is a Tarot Reading act with pictures of the judges as Lotería cards. Memo Reyri: Memo comes out as The Devil, in a full-bodysuit in red with Golden, black and red embelishments in the corset, with fringe in the pants area, black and red wings and a geometrical mask. His talent show is singing with fire handling. Stupidrag: Chooses The Devil as well, with a black and gold cape with yellow in the inside, a red bodysuit with black leather sleeves and black splashes in the torso and horns. Her talent show is a lipsync number with fire handling, but the fire burns out quickly. Wynter: Comes out as The Sun in a yellow gown with red detailings and a wide red spot in her back with Golden rays and a big afro wig. Her talent show is a Frozen (not the Disney franchise, just coldness) theme lipsync.
Queens are mostly scolded harshly by the judges for not meeting the expectations of a premiere for a third season, every judge is disappointed by the queens’ performance, either because of their lack of performative uniqueness or simple outfits. Letal asks which Queens did prepare themselves in different areas of performing; Aviesc, Luna, Madison, Raga, Rudy and Wynter say so, the rest didn’t. Aviesc is criticized on being shy and too calmed and having used liquids which made her fall, her look was fantastic. Huntyy is criticized for doing burlesque, which has been seen already, Iviza was congratulated on letting go of her nerves, but Yari scoldes her for her reveal fail and lack of professsionalism because Iviza apparently blamed it on someone else who helped her make it. Luna was told that less is more, but congratulated on her unique show by Yari, but Johnny wasn’t sure about her time frame and lack of actual magic tricks. Madison was deemed basic for her look but was louded for her comittment in the comedy of her talent show, Regina Orozco hated her because she thought pretending to be a Rooster isn’t a talent. Memo receives great critiques on his outfit and makeup, his song is also louded because of how deep it was, outside of the typical “Me, Me, Me” drag music. Mista got glowing critiques about her talent show and how she was able to get out of the pretty side and the fact she only needed herself to connect with the judges. Look was louded as well. Raga was criticized about not looking too-much as a pot, but was congratulated on her attitude overall. Regina gets critiques on the lack of rehearsal for the talent show but is warned not to try to copy the looks of one Valen-other queen. Rudy is congratulated on her outfit and energy, but the lack polishness on her talent show gets hard critiques. Stupidrag is given the advice about how her fire burned out before, her look got great critiques on her look. Wynter’s talent show gets meh critiques and is asked to take better care of her reveals, to keep the shock factor. Yayoi gets the roughest critiques, her card is not seen at all in her conceptual-look, pretty and all.
Being completely honest, I don’t feel this like a third season¸from so many auditions, how did you guys ended up here? I want you to understand that performers go from 10 to 30 auditions just tol and a part in something, you passed and are standing here. WHAT IS HAPPENING? What’s happening? You guys get your chance to walk the runway and nothing happens at all, imagine, you get two chances to walk the runway, not just one, the runway all in al lis “Okay, she kinda missed it here, but she’ll give me something later” but then NOTHING HAPPENS, okay, cute looks, good make-up, detailing and shit, but what happens with the people behind the wigs, make up and outfits? Those are not drag characters, those are you, real people, the artista who is standing there. Why would you all need to stay here and not go? Not one should go, many of you should. DO YOU GUYS WANNA BE JUST LIKE THE REST? You want to be standing in the best stages in the world, right? I RESPECT EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THE STAGES YOU’VE BEEN ON, but to be an artist and earn what you wanna earn, because I know the budget you put into all of this, you NEED DISCIPLINE AND HAVE THE BALLS to stand in any place you go. I want you to understand you’re standing here when there are Queens who ARE DYING TO GET A CHANCE not only on this show, but on anything, on any Project, and when they got it they don’t ruin it. THIS IS NOT ABOUT BEING THE BIG BITCH BUT ABOUT WHO IS THE BEST ARTIST. The one who asks themselves who they are and FIND IT. Right now you are already performers who are visible through this project, ITS UP TO YOU TO HAVE THE CHANCE TO BE THE ARTIST THAT COMES OUT OF THIS, I WANT YOU TO RESPECT THIS STAGE, MANY PEOPLE ARE WORKING THEIR ASSES OFF TO MAKE THIS POSSIBLE, so, if I don’t feel like this is a worthy third season, what do I have to say to you? Regina Orozco then asks the Queens why do they do Drag. Wynter replies that she does it because she finds a lot of freedom and because she can do whatever she wants with it, as it is limitless, there’s no yes’s and no’s. Aviesc says she’s a fashion designer, adds that clothing should not have gender (YES), clothing is a reflection of our soul, you créate art through your body from your sould. Drag is such an elevated art and you can have fun and showcase your soul at the same time. Luna wants to entertain, the people is what keeps her going, to créate an outfit, to stand in a stage and keep them entertained, she might not be sexy or stunning, but if she can make people laugh, that’s her place. Raga says she does drag because being on stage makes her happy, showing what she can do. Its her own world when she performers, and that happiness can spread to others when she is in front of people. Rudy does drag as an spectacle, says there’s a lot of trouble going on around the world, and wants to be a distracction and a happy moment for everyone and it can fill up the soul with joy.
I CAN'T CALL ANY OF YOU AN ARTIST, THERE’S OUTFITS, MAKE UP AND RUNWAYS BUT NOTHING HAPPENED BEYOND IT. AN ARTIST IS SOMEONE WHO WORKS THEIR ASS OFF. IF YOU’RE A FASHION DESIGNER (to Aviesc), STAY THERE. I DIDN’T SEE ANY ENERGY, EVERYTHING WAS LOW. THERE WERE BRILLAINT MOMENTS BUT IF YOU’RE GOING TO SING LEARN TO SEE, RAGA, YOU CAN SING, BUT THE REST? PLEASE, WHOEVER WINS THE PRIZE MONEY, PLEASE PAY FOR YOUR ARTISTIC EDUCATION, IF NOT, JUST STAY DOING SHOWS TO ENJOY YOURSELVES, BUT IF YOU WANT TO TRASCEND, THINK ABOUT THE PUBLIC AND WHAT YOU’RE GIVING TO THEM. MAKE IT HAPPEN. A LOTERIA IS SO MUCH FUN BUT I NEVER FELT IT ON HERE.
1:29:16 – 1:38:35 – RESULTS
Iviza Lioza, Memo Reyri, Mista Boo, Yayoi Bowery, Stupidrag and Aviesc Who are deemed the best and worst of the week. Iviza, Yayoi and Stupidrag are in the bottom, Iviza is spared while Yayoi and Stupidrag are announced to have to Lipsync to Stay. Memo, Aviesc and Mista are the tops, at the end, Mista wins the challenge and is deemed La Más Suertuda. Yayoi and Stupidrag are asked to prepare a Lip Sync performance of Tsunami, by judge Yari Mejía. Stupidrag gives energy and sex appeal, while Yayoi moves awkardly around the stage, and lying on the ground. After the LipSync, Karla announces that guest judge Regina Orozco will decide who is the first eliminee, but before, they ask the whole cast to return to the stage and Karla explains that there has never been an elimination before in the first episode of both seasons. She says the safe Queens will decide whether there is an elimination or we have another double-save premiere. Mista Boo is the only one who is unsure about her choice, as she feels that if someone did bad, they should go home, but after pretty much everyone says there shouldn’t be an elimination, Mista agrees with them, and everyone decides there was no elimination, although Mista still voices in confessionary that there should have been an elimination. Stupidrag and Yayoi Bowery are both saved. #BESODETRECE
TIME FOR SLANG!
2:01 – Regina Bronx, in her audition calls her drag carácter a “Vaquerobvia”, which is a portmanteu in the words “vaquero” y “obvia”, “obvia” in spanish is used to describe (most of the times in a demeaning way) a gay guy who fits stereotipically into the mold of how a gay guy talks, dresses and acts. “Vaquero” is cowboy, which is a style of clothing and living (people who dedícate themselves to farm, catter, etc). 3:52 – Madison mentions “Quedarse fría”, which, in the words of Monique Heart means “Gooped” 4:30 – Mista Boo asks “Do I look like Un Kilo de Ayuda already?”, Un Kilo de Ayuda is a mexican program which helps secure mexican kids who need it all the food and supplies they need. To mention Un Kilo de Ayuda refers to the fact that Mista might look tired and skinny (A kinda bad taste joke, but, well, mexican humour) 8:53 – Mista refers to Yayoi as “Alexis 2XL”, Alexis 3XL is Season 2’s Winner and Yayoi’s style has been compared a lot to Alexis’ in the past. The 2XL part can be either for the Part 2 joke or because Yayoi might or might not be skinnier than Alexis. 10:33 – Stupidrag makes reference to “El Libro Vaquero” (The Cowboy Book), which is a very popular small comic book here in Mexico that tells small and VERY VERY dramatic stories, which tend to be a mix of western drama, erotism and some weird ideas. Very popular among older people. 43:14 – Karla mentions a “Drag Altar”, which comes from the Day of the Dead Altar, which if you don’t know much about mexican culture when it comes to Día de Muertos, an Altar is a small crafty construction created to honor the dead relatives of a family, you put the pictures of the deceased, together with a mix of flowers (Flor de Cempasúchil is the worldwide known flower for the dead), decorative paper and food that the people you put he Altar for loved in life, with the belief that on November 2nd, the dead can cross from the other side and visit the earth.
Madison: Hey, how are you? My name’s Ricky Balrey, from Gdl, Jalisco and I’m 25 years old. I consider myself a biological woman (in a jokingly tone). I consider myself a bio woman because when I transform everyone is shook. My drag is inspired by everything’s that pretty in life, I’m very smart and very beautiful, better beware. Luna: Hey there, I’m Abraham Luna, I’m from CDMX, My drag character is Luna Lansman, inspired by unicorns, fantasy, fairytales and everything you believe to be pretty, sweet and pink, very dreamy, Mista: Do I look like Un Kilo de Ayuda already? I’m Mista Alex, my drag name is Mista Boo, I’m from Monterrey, I’m 367 yeards old, my drag is very dark, witchy, very alternative, not like the other kind, I’m also very dark literally, I don’t like using glitter because I want that shine to be from the inside Rudy: Hi! My name is Rodolfo, aka Rudy Reyes. “The Caribbean’s Pearl”, Ruby is from Monterrey, my nickname is because I love the mexican caribbean . Ruby is a dancer, very showgirl-y, lots of glitter, stages are my life. I love to dance, its everything I can ask for in life. Huntyy: My name is Edgar de la O, I’m 27 years old and I’m from Ciudad Juarez, Chihuaha. I bring HuntyyB to life. She’s a collectible, you can dress and undress her as many times as you wish. I have many sides to myself because I’m kinda crazy. Huntyy can be very vintage, elegant or maybe turn into a chinese doll with purple skin. Aviesc: My name is Aviesc, and my drag name is Aviesc Who?, I’m a designer and I’m from Gdl, Jalisoc, I am 32 years old. Aviesc is an extension of my clothing line; I mix art with fashion; take inspiration from trends, art and movies and then craate something from that mix so Drag Queens can be trendy as well. Wynter: I’m Huicho Lozano, I’m from Tamaulipas but I live in León, I bring Wynter to life. Wynter is this fantasy, something you can have but it will cost you a lot. Wynter leaves you frozen, entertained. Iviza: My name is Franco, I’m 26 years old. My drag name is Iviza Lioza and I’m very inspired in powerful woman, I come from a family of very strong woman, I draw inspiration from any character of empowered women like witches, Queens. Yayoi: I'm 32 years old, my drag name is Yayoi Bowery. I’m a mix of kawaii, club kid and pop culture. I’m a publicist so I love to play with all of this so people can reminiscent their childhood or old times. Regina: Hello, I’m Luis Peña, I’m 29 years old. I come from a small town in Chihuahua but I currently live in Aguascalientes (STAN) which is where Regina was born. Regina is a queen from the north, vaquerobvia, loves to show her curves, take care of her makeup, and dance; to share something very special with the public. I’m not that experienced, I’ve been in this career for a year but I wanted to elevate my level and bring it to here. Stupidrag: Hey, well, I’m Pepe Favila, I’m 29 yeards old. I’m a queen from Gómez Palacio, Durango. What makes me me? Fire. The Origina Fire created this creature who has curves, that came out from the Cowboy Book. Everything is sexy, all hips for her. When I saw the rest of the Queens most of them were like “Who this?”, but luckily some did recognize me. Memo: Hey, I’m Memo Reyri, I’m 33 years old and I’m a Bio King from CdMx. My drag is very masculine man, what I try to do with my character is to play with whatever is known as masculine and mix it with pretty, grotesque and rough stuff, but always with a very delicate attitude. I want to make a difference between what is known as an Alpha male. Raga: I’m 32 years old, I’m from Mérida, Yucatán and I bring Miss Raga alive. Raga Diamante is a pop girl, a superstar in the scene, a song and dance icon. She’s a person, not just a character, she loves to make people happy. I didn’t know most of these girls, did not recognize them at all. HELLO PECECITAS. I hope I did help you out with having a better understanding of the show and please leave a comment if you have understood most, if you want me to elaborate on anything else please tell me as well. Also, tell the producers to hire me, I'm nice. SEE YA!
2020.09.23 20:42 AmbitionStandard3936Am I better off just being alone?
I thought I was with the love of my life. Best friend before we started dating and through our entire relationship (10 years). We had a connection I could never even have imagined and I truly believed we would be together forever. My issue isn’t with the fact that she cheated on me (well it is an issue for sure) but what really fucks me up is that you could lie to your “best friend” for years with absolutely no remorse whatsoever. This threw me into severe drug addiction where I ended up being hospitalized 8 times in 3 months due to my reckless use. I am an extremely loving and romantic man and I just want someone to show my love for but I had totally written off ever finding love again due to the fear of being crushed a second time. Now I’m a bit more stable in my recovery (almost a year sober) and I miss human love and touch. I’m really not the hook up type because I truly do not enjoy sex without any connection, and I have past trauma that makes hook ups entirely unappealing. I am considering starting to put myself back out there looking for a relationship. I am just extremely terrified to do so. My fears with ever trying to get in a relationship again are: 1)my trust is so fucked up, I’m worried I will never be able to treat a future partner right because I will always be expecting the worst, and that will lead to me mistreating the. 2)I’m worried if I do end up in another relationship again and it had a similar outcome, it would send me on another spiral with drugs and alcohol that I’m not sure I could ever recover from again 3)I feel like a shell of who I used to be, and am worried that I will never be good enough or confident enough to find anyone who will value me as much as I will value them, due to my views on myself. I’m sorry if this was extremely poorly written. D-Day was 2 years ago today and I’m a mess currently. I guess my question is: Do the benefits of potentially falling in love and being happy again, outweigh the possibility that I might end up completely destroying myself if it were to be another situation where my partner is unfaithful?
2020.09.23 20:40 PsychologinutI’m so broken and lost I think I can find myself but idk if I can do it.
I think I should quit my job and go travel the country. I have plenty of money saved up, and I could even finish school this semester because it’s all online. I’m at a crossroads and I’m so confused idk what to choose. There’s so many choices idk what’s right. I’m just so confused there’s no other way to put it. So many questions that I can’t just google anymore. Therapy would take far too long. And nothing about my life would actually change. I don’t want to leave my brothers behind, I care too much about them. I’ve met a girl but she is making things even more confusing. I can’t tell if she’s manipulating me or if she’s actually just the perfect girl for me. How am I supposed to know? I want to get close to her but she has a “relationship with god” that she has to put first. I’m studying psychology and I’m seeing relationships so differently I’m so damn confused. How am I supposed to get over my ex too? I’m over her, I would never go back to her. But the mental scars she’s left will never leave. I can’t trust another human being ever again. Now I have ridiculous paranoia. I just want to leave this hell on earth, I know I can’t, I know the universe has more planned for me but Im suffering so intensely right now I’m about to implode. I literally have paranoia that if I open up and try to find emotional support, I will turn gay. I have nothing against gay people but I don’t want to have gay sex. (Yeah go ahead call me retarded I know but I simply can’t beat that thought) How do I know if I open up to this girl I have now emotionally, she’s not going to cheat on me. God I’m so damn broken and I cant take drugs anymore because my mind has been shattered. I keep asking the universe to give me a direction but it gives my nothing. I’ve asked countless times for a faithful girl and nothing more and now she’s appeared for me and I’m afraid I’m not good enough. I’m so goddamn afraid and I know I’m supposed to choose fear over love but I don’t feel any love. FUCKKKKKC WTF!!!!!!!! I want to die so bad god I don’t want to die I need to change something but how do I know what the right thing to change is?????!!!! How am I supposed to know what’s gonna make me happy????!!!! The obvious answer is to quit my dumbass fast food job that is causing most of my suffering but then I will lose the only “friends” I have and the girl I like is going to look down on my for being weak and then it’s all over. It’s all connected, I either let it all go or none of it ... and so I simply would choose to rather die. I’m not afraid of physical death. I never understood why people were. My grandpa died recently and I didn’t feel a thing. I could only think of how much I envied him. How lucky he was for his suffering to be over. Is it really too much to ask for a girl who won’t cheat on me... I want to support her in everything she does I want her to be independent... I just want her loyalty. And if that’s too much to ask... why should I stay? Why does the universe not want me in power? Why has it tried so hard to slow me down? Am I really that bad of a person? And if I’m a bad person, who is ever going to want me? Nobody has so far. Even when I was at my best. It wasn’t good enough for anyone. I can’t take it anymore. I don’t want to be a wage slave.
2020.09.23 20:40 rainingcats-20I’m looking into ways to curve my sexual libido. Any suggestions how?
I’m having the hardest time seeking treatment or professional help regarding my self diagnosed self addiction. As I wait to find the right therapist, I was hoping some personal advice or recommendations about managing sex drive would be ok to ask for. I’m open to ideas, because my constant urges to sleep with someone are starting to interfere with work, friendships and all other personal relationships. If I’m in the wrong forum, please direct me elsewhere? Also, I’m looking into SAA meetings. I just have a hectic lifestyle that it’s hard finding the time.
2020.09.23 20:31 ThrowRAowenA girl that I care about alot (21) has an incestuous relationship with her mum (43) and sister (24)
Original post below https://www.reddit.com/relationship_advice/comments/ixyu44/a_girl_that_i_care_about_alot_21_has_an/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share I now know basically every about what she has been through now so before I go into it this is dark and isn't going to be anything fun to read at all. So apparently when her older sister was around 15 her mum and sister started being sexual with each other and would masturbate together alot and occasionally have full sex which was all brought in by her mum. After a while of her knowing this was happening she asked her sister about it who basically convinced her to join in. This happened when she was 11 and they have all been regularly having sex together ever since. Her mum is a "swinger" I guess and is part of fetish clubs where she would find men who where into younger girls and bring them home with her where they would have orgies together which apperantly started when she was 16 so was technically legal. Her mum and her sister are complete predators and I'm even more emotional and super tempted to contact the police about this now whereas yesterday I wasn't. I will probably make my decision based on what people here suggest and what sounds right. Obviously she is no longer a child and she has been indoctrinated into believing that it is normal and is very into it sadly otherwise I would try to convince her to come forward herself. I don't know what reporting it to the police would do at this point but my only other option is to just let her stay living how she is living and never having the people who have abused her brought to justice. If your going to ask me why I care so much she is somebody I have known for since I was about 9 and we have been in an and off relationship for the better part of that time so that's why she has told me everything and just imagining while I was an innocent child she was being raped by her own family makes me super compelled to do something. I'll awnser any questions anyone has but what I want is advice and the legal consequences for her if I where to go to the police.
You cant understand my frustration sometimes, basically I got addicted to porn from the start of my teenage years, thats YEARS im not getting back and that i lost to this bullshit addiction, obviously a 12 or 13 year old has no idea what they're getting into right.. Its vital years, when your brain is still developing and you're learning more about the world around you, you're not supposed to be addicted to any of that and its very harmful for your mind. I honestly wish I could go back and have avoided all that in the first place, but my father never guided me, I guess cause he didn't know how to prevent me from getting to that, my father grew up in an era where the only porn that existed was playboy magazines or you'd have to physically go to the store and rent VHS tapes, but this, heck no We are in an era where you can access the most hardcord and absolutely degrading content in seconds, see how messed up it is. It sickens me It gave me a skewed and very warped idea of what sex actually is and of the opposite sex. In porn it's all selfishness, violence and misogyny, it's not reality, get the picture? It's a lie, its what it is The way it really works is that the porn industry makes sure little kids like 12 or 13 years old get addicted so later on when those kiddos find out they have a serious addiction they cant quit and there basically enslaved for life. They use the most EVIL tactics to keep you going back, I cannot stress it enough it is absolutely pure fucking evil and I do not mess around with any of that. Your time on earth is short, so every single day you're wasting your life on porn, guess what, that's a damn day of precious life you're not getting back, a day those evil cunts stole from you. Do your part, don't go back,period. .
2020.09.23 20:19 Throwaway0158226 [M4F] London/Luton - Looking for someone open minded for FWB situation
I'm looking for someone open minded, easy to talk to, patient and wanting to explore their sexual desires. Ideally you will be local to Luton or London, but if you are able to host then I am willing to travel a bit further. I'm a switch, so I don't mind whether you're a sub, dom or even a switch yourself. Some of the the things Id like to explore are orgasm control, post orgasm play, public play, rough play, face riding, cosplay, sex with strangers, threesome/group sex, restraints and blindfolds. Theres a lot more but my list could go on for days. If you'd like to explore something that I haven't mentioned, feel free to inbox/chat. I'm very open minded and I'm keen to explore and experiment. I also love all the soppy shit that comes with it as well 😂 I love cuddling/spooning, kissing, running my fingers through your hair, tickling your back, giving massages etc I'm 5'11" with blue eyes and dark hair, around 75kg although this fluctuates depending on what stage of fight training I'm in, athletic/average build, I get told I'm cute and good looking, although I think people just say it to be kind 😂 Ask for a picture and I'll let you be the judge. Id say my cock was my main attraction 😂 Clean/trimmed, 7-8 inches, can get bigger, depending on the heat and is pretty girthy. I am able to host, but my living arrangements are slightly awkward right now and I only get 3 or 4 nights a month where I am able to do so, so ideally you will be able to host. Failing that, I am able to travel, and I'm happy to get a hotel that you would feel comfortable staying at. I would ideally like to find someone who is looking to meet regularly, maybe a FWB situation, but I am open to one off meets. I'm not put off by race/ethnicity, weight, height, age, so whoevewhatever you are, feel free to message. I would like to see a recent picture of you though, so I know who I am meeting/talking with. The only thing that bothers me is excessive pubic hair, I'm afraid that's not something that I am a fan of. I don't expect you to be completely clean shaven, I know that shit takes time 😂 but if you don't make an effort to keep your lady garden at least tidy, please find another man. I've covered about as much as I can think of for now, if I think of anything else I will edit, but if theres anything you'd like to know about me or what I'm looking for feel free to chat/inbox Hope to hear from you soon 😊x
2020.09.23 20:11 Angel8688Why he (M40) didn’t want to be with me (F30) and chose to go back to his ex GF again ? How do I get over my hurt ego and have a closure?
The guy (40) I was having casual sex with once a week for four month but know each other for years . He always used to like me but never asked me out directly , he always used to say I’m out of his league . I never considered dating him as he used to have kind of a womanizer reputation so I initiated a hook up. We were having conversations and had fun times, hanging out for a few hrs after sex. He cooked dinners. The chemistry was crazy. It was pretty obvious that we are just hooking up and I once even asked him if he’s going on dates . He once said he’d love to watch a movie together but didn’t really reciprocate. At the beginning all I wanted was just sex and didn’t plant to date him but I started to get attached to him. For the past month or so he started to become distant and pulling away and ignoring me. I asked him to hang out twice and he made excuses that he had to work but he’d love too. I finally confronted him and texted him whats the deal , told him that I really like him and enjoy being with him and that I want more, and asked him on a real date, and he finally confessed that he’s back with his ex and that he really likes me but that’s what it is. He texted that he’s terribly uncomfortable but he can’t help it as he still has feelings for her. (He left her a few times before due to her bad temper and she begged to take her back ) And then he started to bulshit me about how he’s so unhappy right now as he’s anxious about all this and not even enjoying life (Don’t get why he’s trying to seem miserable.) and that he doesn’t know what’s gonna happen with her and he thinks it’s a mistake , telling me that he’s not a bad person and asking me not to hate him ,blah blah blah. I asked him why you just didn’t tell me and he said he wasn’t sure yet about getting back together with her but he would tell me . I said I’m not angry and I understand and told him I fell in love with him and even said I can give him more than her ( I know it’s stupid of me and needy but it was in a moment ). He said please try to forget me but said don’t disappear .text here and there . Now when I think about it I get the impression that perhaps ha was talking to her all this time and working on getting back with her while sleeping with me and even slept with both of us . I don’t understand why he just didn’t tell me for weeks and lied and avoided me until I finally confronted him. I know he doesn’t have to but we have know each other for years plus it’s a decent thing to do. The last time we met was a month before all this conversation, he was already distancing but still took me to a party introduced to everyone , all his friends were so impressed by me and kept asking where did he find me. I kissed him in front of people and was affectionate acting as we are together, now I realize that he was already back with her when we were at the party! 😞 after that party he stopped texting . Why did he even take me there . He even said he’s planning to take a trip and asked me if I want to come and visit him there . I even brought him a little gift . He loves cooking so I gave him a special bottle of sauce for cooking . I feel I made a complete fool of myself and embarrassed myself at the party . He became very active on social media posting pics of himself enjoying life and even in one if the pics he posted himself having lunch and made sure the bottle of sauce I gave him is right on the middle of the picture ... We didn’t talk since then but he makes sure he likes and wows all my stuff on social media. I deleted him from my social media a few weeks ago . TL;DR: I fell for my FWB but he lied and went back to his ex and I’m having a hard time to move on and my ego is hurt . Why he didn’t want me and chose to go back to his ex again . Did he like me at all.. I wish I had a closure
2020.09.23 20:05 confusedcantelopeI need help with my long term relationship
I'm on mobile, please don't share my story. I'm just looking for some friendly guidance/advice. I am so confused as to what to do. I (23F) posted here before about feeling like I'm with my boyfriend (25M) because I saw a future with him but I felt trapped. That was about 5 months ago and I wish things were improving. I spoke with him about it 5 months ago and we both decided to continue dating until there was a reason to break up and to make sure it wasn't the quarantine getting to me. Since then, I felt okay but I continually get feelings like I am wasting my life or not where I am supposed to be in life. A few key things have happened in our relationship (3 years long) that I feel are affecting us in a negative way: 1. He was arrested for drunk driving. I stood by his side, lied to my family about it for him (he didn't want them to know) and overall, tried to be as supportive as possible. He eventually went back to "casually drinking" and I helped to hide that from his family and mine. Note: we are both extremely close to our families. 2. He was arrested again for being drunk in public. This happened maybe 10 months after the first arrest and he said he stayed out longer and drank longer because we were in a fight. Once again, I stood by his side, cried because I thought he was going to be sent to jail and was as supportive as possible. I hid everything for him again and just worked through it with him. 3. He stopped openly communicating with me. Often times I am worried about what I say or do around him because I can tell he gets upset and then he won't talk to me about it. I feel personally responsible for his feelings and I don't feel as relaxed about just expressing myself. 4. Awhile ago, his friend planned a trip with their friend group and one of their GF's. After being invited by my BF, I got the distinct impression that I was not meant to be invited at all so I didn't go. I got this impression from the texts th guy planning it was sending (ie. Naming everyone by names and then adding me as an after thought text multiple times. I am not new to their group by any means so this was hurtful). My boyfriend went and although it was mostly on my BF's dime, he never once stood up for me to his friends. He just said "well next time I'll do this differently". I appreciate that he reflected on it but I have never allowed any of my friends to dismiss him or exclude him in any way. So I texted my male best friend: 5. I have a male best friend that I speak with a few times a week. We've been close since college (about 5 years). When we first met, he had a little crush on me but NOTHING ever happened between us and he moved on about a month or two into our friendship. I have been open with my friend about my BF's insecurities involving him and my friend has stressed he would never do anything to get in between us or make either of us uncomfortable (PLUS, HE DOESNT LIKE ME IN A ROMANTIC WAY). I have caught my BF on numerous occasions going through my phone specifically to read the messages between my friend and myself. While I have nothing to hide, it makes me feel like he doesn't trust me or my friend. We have talked about this and my BF has said he does trust me and he won't do that anymore. As far as I know he hasn't for the last month but we have hardly seen one another. 6. We are no longer intimate. When I met him I had a high sex drive. Now, I don't feel like I ever want to have sex with him. It's become boring and mundane but it just feels like work to me because he constantly says how he loves me (like every 5 seconds) and expects an immediate response during sex. I just find that unattractive because it sounds like he's looking for confirmation from me. Overall, he lacks so much confidence. I feel like I am personally responsible for all of his feelings and his actions. If I bring up a problem to him, his immediate response is to change and work on it. There's no discussion, just me talking/telling him what to do. I don't want it to be that way at all. My biggest hang-up is that he is my absolute best friend. He's the first person I want to talk to every day and last person I want to talk to at night but his neediness and me feeling so responsible for him makes me stay away from responding a lot... Unless one of us needs to talk something out. I feel like I haven't dealt with anything that has happened in our relationship. I just said okay and moved on. I don't know what I would do without him in my life because he's become such a huge part of it. I also know that our relationship has turned more into a friendship than anything. I think I would miss the friendship more than the relationship if I'm being completely honest. I keep telling myself it will get better but these overwhelming feelings that this is wrong keep piling up on me. The worst part is when I'm with him, I usually don't feel those feelings, I feel goofy and great. I'm really lost as to what to do. Should I help him overcome these things? Or should I just accept that we weren't meant to be anything more than friends? Please help me because I know if I end this, I end our friendship too.
2020.09.23 20:00 mashumba-270How do I [27m] get the LOML [27f] back when we had initially broken up and were trying to work things out then I fucked up by lying about sleeping with another woman [29f escort] during our break up when I didn’t need to lie???
Guys it’s a really fucked up situation I find myself in, so grab your popcorn and get ready for story time. I first met this beautiful girl [27f] just over 4 years ago. She was stunning,and my feelings grew to her so quickly. We got together, and I was the happiest man alive, but maybe I just didn’t show it well enough. She was my peace, she calmed me and she knew how to love me in all the love languages that make me the man I am including quality and acts of service this girl was everything. PAY ATTENTION HERE... Fast forward to around 1.5 years into the relationship, she caught me messaging some escorts that I had been introduced to by work colleagues (fucked up I know) at that time I was working for one of the Big 4 so I am sorry but from my experience drugs, alcohol abuse and sex are just a norm...it’s work hard play hard. Anyway she was hurt, but we were on holiday when she found these messages on my phone, the reality is I actually had no intention of doing anything I was just very curious to find out so I had asked them about prices etc because I was just really curious and never proceeded to do anything. Long story short on this part, we moved on from it but perhaps we didn’t iron it out or go into detail about it as were were on holiday and I thought we had moved on. I think she may have come across this again, but during another time but I had done it all at the same time so it wasn’t a repeat offence it was simply her finding out about another 2 escorts I had messaged on Instagram at a later date...trash I know l, but I have to be honest about everything in order to get the best advice and own up to my mistakes. We then continued our relationship, we were thriving and I was always content with her she gave me her all. She wasn’t perfect don’t get me wrong but that’s reality we are all imperfect but we do try, and in her case it was nowhere near anything I had done just some minor hiccups. Fast forward to last year, we broke up. She cited differences in our paths and where we were in life. I am reasonably successful and have done pretty well career wise so I am grateful. She wasn’t quite sure what she wanted to pursue and she was going through a tough time and felt I didn’t supper her emotionally, which I admit. It was tough, and I had lost the love of my life (LOML), I didn’t think I would ever be able to move on. During our break up we didn’t talk for a few months and then we slowly began to talk again when I reached out to her and meeting up towards the end of last year and beginning of this year. I really wanted her back and I really cared about her. KEY PART SO PAY ATTENTION HERE AGAIN... During the month of ~October last year I slept with an escort who I had met. Me and my ex were not taking at the time and I didn’t think we had a chance I thought we were done. Me and the escort became friends along with some of her mother friends both male and female (not all escorts). I slept with this woman 3 times, once for consideration and the other 2 for no consideration as we had become “friends with benefits” so to call it. This was the lowest point of my life, I didn’t know how I got here, my head was gone and torn from splitting with who I thought I would never split with. I don’t know how I let this happen. But I accepted it and I moved on. I was getting therapy at this time, I had a lot of issues around my anger, the neglect and reject I felt from never meeting my biological father and I finally accepted I was addicted to pornography, I found my place with God again after this had happened which I ironed out and I managed to get my head straight again and found my place with God. With the above in mind, I stayed friends with the escort and we would chat sometimes where on FaceTime her and the other friends I had become friends with would just chat, it was no longer a friends with benefits thing at all. We continued to chat even until this year as much as 2/3 months ago but we would chat maybe once every month just to catch up because we were just cool. NOW TO THE RECENT EVENTS KEY KEY PART... Before went away on holiday recently I wanted to tell her what had happened during our break up, specifically that I had slept with an escort, so I asked her in the home she would say she has slept with someone else and then I would admit I did too which was fine as we were not together, but she said not and immediately I got scared that if I said yes she would be hurt and decide to cut things off and not work out getting back together. So what did I do? I lied and I said I didn’t sleep with anyone...bit mistake. She said okay and we carried on fine. We went away recently, had a great time and got to spend some time together. But during our holiday she went through my phone and messages. She then saw the messages messages with the escort, and unfortunately I had said things like I’ll cone over but it was to hang out nothing more and she will obviously not believe that that was true. She saw images where the escort had sent pics of her friends trying to her me to come over and I had even said I am never coming there again. So, as you can see, I asked her about sleeping with someone else, she said no, I lied, and then she found I lied and worst of all with an escort, which took us right back to the curiosities I had had when she caught me messaging escorts ~2.5 years before that. WHERE WE ARE NOW We got back from our holidays and she decided to end things and not pursue getting back together. She cited that I have a problem with escorts and she finds it hard to trust me. She worries too much and our trust is broken. She loves me, but love is not enough. Now I know you may think I am trash and I own up to my mistakes. But I had genuinely changed and I had got over all this escort stuff and was moving on with my life. But she struggled to see that as believe that. I am devastated she has decided to not work things out, and I am truly hurt that I may have lost the LOML forever. TL;DR! , what can I do and how can I get her back? I have been honest ask I can get the best advice with no prejudice.
2020.09.23 19:56 JustAnAlienTAMy [23f] bf [22m] puts minimal effort into my orgasm.
Hi! I've been with my boyfriend for about a year and a half and I love him very much. I've had a lot of shitty relationships in the past and have some sexual trauma from them- ie hypersexuality, sex as a means of affection and validation. My boyfriend is great for the most part; because I get kind of anxious and feel pressure at the start of being intimate with someone, it took about a year for us to figure out together how I could finish during sex. Sometimes it happens during intercourse but a lot of the times he will finger me after while I rub my clit. The problem is that he really doesn't seem to care all that much and he seems to mostly do it so I don't think he's lazy or selfish. We had sex this morning and he got me quite close before he finished. He then started going down on me and fingering me, and it felt great, but he stopped after maybe a minute or two as I was getting pretty close. I pulled him in to kiss me and requested he keep going with his fingers, as I was close. He said no and got dressed and got on the computer. I know he was probably just tired, but this happens pretty often. Sometimes once he finishes he won't try to finish me at all, the sex is just over. We were also having sex last week and I was getting close, when he announced he couldn't orgasm and was done. I know he doesn't mean to hurt me by it, but it really does. It makes me feel like a glorified fleshlight. I tried to talk to him about it but I think I was overly upset/frustrated and that made him not want to listen. His reply was that I had only asked him to keep going after he was finished with it and if I wanted him to go on for another minute or two then I should have expressed that before he stopped. He also expressed that his lack of caring if I finish is apparently tied to the fact that he feels I've been "letting him down" recently and it's lowered his desire to have sex with me. I've been kind of depressed recently and haven't been keeping up as much with household chores. I work two jobs, clean the house, cook, and do the dishes along with running him food to work. I guess he feels like I haven't been fulfilling my part of our relationship as well and haven't been as fun to be around. I just don't know what to do. It hurts my self esteem; I'm very generous in bed and always make sure that he finishes, even when he thinks it may not happen, sometimes I will go down on him for half an hour or more until he gets there. It just feels like the effort is not at all mutual and I'm growing somewhat resentful. The thought has crossed my mind that I would like to put the same effort in that he does- so, no more long blowjobs, ass eating, and generally I kind of even want to tell him I don't want to have sex at all unless he plans to finish me also. This feels really petty though and I'd like to find a better solution rather than continuing to make this rift bigger. I just don't know how to go about it when it feels like my feelings fall on deaf ears.
2020.09.23 19:47 techwabbitSenate report slams Bidens for conflicts of interest, flags possible criminal activity GOP-led investigation cites 'glaring' evidence of Burisma bribe, suspicious foreign money transfers and sex trafficking.
A year-long Senate investigation concluded Wednesday that Hunter Biden's efforts to cash in on foreign business deals during his father's vice presidency raised alarm among U.S. government officials, who perceived an ethical conflict of interest and flagged concerns about possible criminal activity ranging from bribery to sex trafficking. The long-awaited joint report by the GOP-led Senate Homeland and Government Affairs and Senate Finance Committees delivered several blockbuster revelations less than two months before Election Day, suggesting Obama administration officials ignored clear warning signs about ethical conflicts and possible extortion risks involving Joe Biden's family. Perhaps the most explosive revelation was that the U.S. Treasury Department flagged payments collected overseas by Hunter Biden and business partner Devon Archer for possible illicit activities. The so-called Suspicious Activity Reports flagged millions of dollars in transactions from the Ukrainian gas company Burisma Holdings, a Russian oligarch named Yelena Baturina, and Chinese businessmen with ties to Beijing's communist government, the report said. Senate investigators have yet to determine if the FBI or others investigated the concerns. "The Treasury records acquired by the Chairmen show potential criminal activity relating to transactions among and between Hunter Biden, his family, and his associates with Ukrainian, Russian, Kazakh and Chinese nationals," the 87-page report disclosed, confirming an earlier report in Just the News. The report, citing U.S. government records, also raised concerns about possible ties to sex and human trafficking rings. "Hunter Biden paid nonresident women who were nationals of Russia or other Eastern European countries and who appear to be linked to an Eastern European prostitution or human trafficking ring," the report said. An attorney for Hunter Biden has yet to respond to a emailed request for comment. Senate Homeland Security and Governmental Affairs Committee Chairman Ron Johnson told Just the News Wednesday morning that the sheer volume of suspicious activity in Hunter Biden’s foreign business dealings left the Vice President vulnerable to illicit influence or extortion.
Hunter Biden sent “thousands of dollars” to people who appear to be involved in the sex industry, according to a report released Wednesday by Republicans in the US Senate. The report says unspecified records show that Biden “has sent funds to non-resident alien women in the United States who are citizens of Russia and Ukraine and who have subsequently wired funds they have received from Hunter Biden to individuals located in Russia and Ukraine.” “The records also note that some of these transactions are linked to what ‘appears to be an Eastern European prostitution or human trafficking ring,'” the report says.
There's lots to unpack here, but the most glaring is: We've gone through YEARS now, of bogus reports, bogus investigations and bogus actions taken by the House Democrat Majority and imho, the most devastating effect from those investigations, is that now, the general public, won't believe real findings, and real reports and real evidence even when its put right in front of them on a silver platter.
Step 1 of fomenting a revolution: Tear down all systems of authority, so citizens don't know whose right, whose wrong and have no where to turn in an emergency
I think we're actually past that step now. Edit to add: Don't get me wrong, I fully believe these findings and absolutely believe without a doubt in my mind Biden, Clinton, Kerry and Obama are fully guilty of treason, collusion, selling arms to our enemies and corruption. But what I believe, and what the general public believes, is two different things. What say you?
2020.09.23 19:47 cosmicdoobieUnfounded confidence - how to not destroy his ego
I'm dating a guy that I've known for about 15 years. We've been friends with benefits in the past, lost contact, then reconnected and decided to give dating a try. We get along great and laugh a lot together. But I've never been that sexually attracted to him. I find him attractive, pleasing to the eyes, but I don't feel like I want to jump his bones. Our friendship has mostly been based on partying and just having a good time. I'm hoping that he will grow on me, but it's been a couple months and I'm starting to get worried. As far as our sex life, I'm not satisfied and never really have been. I feel like a jerk because size kind of matters to me, I'm not looking for the biggest penis out there but at least on the larger end of the average range. I also think he just doesn't have skills. I don't like the way he goes down on me, it's predictable and boring and feels like he's doing it for a few min just to get me wet for his own pleasure. He also makes comments that are weird to me, things about his "big dick" and I'm like where? He also comments on our "great chemistry" and again I'm like what? He clearly thinks things are great between us in the sex department, but I don't agree. How can I talk about this with him without destroying his ego? Edit: he also admits that he doesn't last long, not necessarily premature but no more than 10 min max. He's "training" with a male sex toy to increase his endurance but often "forgets" to practice or just orgasms after "one or two pumps" in his own words.
2020.09.23 19:44 Justfantastic93How do I (26m) convince my ex(37f) to give us a second shot at being together? She’s admits she’s still attracted to me
How to convince my ex to give our relationship a shot again? SHES 27 BTW NOT 37 I thought we were unbreakable and stopped being considerate of her feelings. I’d ignore her and play video games for hours but she expected that from time to time. Not only did I begin to overdo how many hours I was playing, I expected sex as soon as I was done playing which can be credited to my prescription if adderall I take. She felt like an object since I would be trying to jump right into her pants instead of hanging out and talking to her after hours of silence. I selfishly wasn’t able to see why she’d felt that way nor did I put myself in her shoes and try to see it from her perspective. We didn’t have sex as often but when we did we still get a good 2-3 rounds in when we did. However, I foolishly started becoming suspicious since she wasn’t having sex with me whenever I wanted like she used to. The reason for that is cuz I never saw the big picture and that issue wasn’t resolved. In fact the reality of why she felt like an object didn’t even sink in until we actually had been done and over. The final few week I grew increasingly Insecure and wasn’t myself around her. At this point, I strongly believe she had plans of working on the issue with me over time. Pretty sure all I had to do was just give her space and wait for her to reach out to me. When I did finally wait for her to contact me, she apologized for things being weird, told me she loved me and wanted me to spend the night. Unfortunately, I didn’t stick with the obvious solution of letting her come to me and pushed her away. One day, I was convinced she was seeing someone behind my back and I pulled the trigger and we haven’t been a couple since then. I deeply regret not showing my best friend and love the compassion she deserves. I totally see the entire scenario now. I’ve certainly grown into a person who would never be so damn selfish, especially to the girl I loved more than anything. I understand that every relationship has bumps In the road and that it’s a team effort to defeat the issue. Before, I just took everything personally and thought it was a direct attack. I’ve definitely learned my lesson and believe me I’d never let small issues sabotage our relationship ever again. It’s so sad how things unfolded. I really feel like I’d make her super happy again and would be a much better boyfriend going forward. My only wish is to show my ex that I can take care of her, make her happy like she had been before and that any issues we’d run into I’d handle with a different approach. The compassionate approach and to defeat any sort of conflict together as opposed to being defensive and taking things personally likeI’m being attacked. Really, those are mistakes I’m sure I wouldn’t make again... and I’d bet your ass if I knew then what I know now, we’d never have ended our relationship. Honestly, she’s said she’s still attracted to me. I’m one of the funniest people she knows (always can make her laugh), and at one time admitted she was trying to find someone who looked like me and was just like me that wasn’t me. we had unreal chemistry and our values with love are very similar too. Our relationship was amazing; kinda the relationship you’d expect to experience when you find the one. Perhaps our hobbies are slightly different, but I’d always be willing to try some of her hobbies and find one that I liked. if it was some sorta dealbreaker. For some reason, I just can’t seem to get her to try one more time. Mind you we’ve only broken up once so this would make it my first Second chance. Ahhhh, please help. I’ve been in my fair share of relationships and never have I ever experienced one like this. I mean i don’t wanna settle for someone who I don’t feel the same way about. I’d Damn near do anything. Yes, I know about the whole moving on thing it’s just not that easy and even if I do I know she’ll always have a special place in my heart... so instead of brushing aside something that felt like universe and stars aligning when it began, why not try and salvage it.
2020.09.23 19:43 queersultrysummerMy (29f) friend (30m) keeps confiding in me about cheating on his husband (27m) and it makes me extremely uncomfortable.
Most of it is right there in the title, but for background: I’ve known my friend (we’ll call him Caleb) since elementary school. He’s been a solid friend through many ups and downs in my life, sometimes being the only person who picked up the phone when I really needed someone. Caleb has always been a serial monogamist and has wanted to be married forever. He’s told me before that he felt like marriage gives his relationships a legitimacy he needs because his family is lukewarm about him being gay. Because of this, he tends to get serious fast and has had two broken engagements prior to his current marriage. Caleb’s husband, Jason, is.... not my kind of person. He’s childish, entitled, and seems to go out of his way to make others uncomfortable. The first time I met Jason he refused to speak to me and only spoke in baby talk to Caleb about how he was tired and wanted to go home. I’ve tried really hard to find things I like about Jason but to be honest I just really don’t care for him as a person, let alone the spouse of one of my oldest friends. I’m not the only one who feels this way either - at their wedding, many of our mutual friend drunkenly confided in me that they hated Jason and were reluctant to support the marriage. Here’s where things get complicated. About a year ago, Caleb got really drunk and confessed to cheating on Jason. And not just once - a lot. Like, at least twice a month with numerous different people. He said he’s not attracted to Jason anymore and is too unhappy to change his life. He said the only things that make him happy are drinking, weed, video games, and sex with people other than his husband. I told him it made me uncomfortable to know this but he’s continued to disclose his various infidelities to me since then, despite me reiterating every time that I don’t want to hear it. I feel like it’s not my place to analyze why he’s cheating, and I feel resentful that he continuously crosses my boundary in this way. I’ve tried to tell him that his circumstances are changeable, that people get divorced all the time and using substances to cope is a much worse idea than just facing the problem. He won’t (or can’t) hear me. When it comes to what to do next, I feel stuck. What obligation do I have to hold my friends secret? Is it my place to get involved in someone else’s marriage? Is it just pacifying myself to say I don’t want to hear about it, when in reality I know too much and that the cheating will definitely continue? Do I have to decide between doing the right thing (telling Jason, who I don’t like but doesn’t deserve to be cheated on) or holding this horrible secret for my friend because telling would blow up his life? And before obligatory “suggest he/they/you go to therapy!” - I am a mental health counselor myself, and this is always my advice 🥴. I guess I’m looking for guidance about what my duty is to all people involved here. Thanks so much for your time. It felt good just to type this all out.
2020.09.23 19:35 Shado_HQI've forgot how to sex good maybe?
Not trolling, just got a stupid title because it helps me defuse any arkwardness. Basically my question is this, I've been with the same woman for many years and we've recently split up. Our sex life during that time was amazing, however, she had a very specific set of needs regarding her vaginismus. Now I'm concerned that I've been with her so long, I learned everything she likes and needs that when I start dating again I'll be a bit out my depth, or second guessing myself. Or that because I've learned to be super careful and take my time I'm worried a "normal" woman will find it boring? Am I overthinking this?
2020.09.23 19:33 areallmenlikethisMy [29F] BF [21M] of 3 months has what he calls "dick brain" and it's concerning me.
Hi! Yes I know there is a significant age difference, but for the most part he is mature and we have a great time together. We get along really well and it's been great so far. We take communication extremely serious, which is awesome, as communication in my past relationship was shit (even though I communicated all the time). We have communicated this way since the beginning of our relationship and I'm glad that we did because I believe this is why our relationship has been as good as it has been. Something he has told me is that he has what he calls "dick brain" and that he feels guilty about it. He has brought this up to me 3 times, and I'm really glad that he has because it shows me that he cares and wants to do something about it. At first when he told me that he has this issue, I thought he meant that he is still attracted to other girls, which I told him is normal. You don't stop finding people attractive because you're in a relationship. But after the 3rd time we talked about it, it really hit me that he isn't just finding them attractive, he has thoughts about actually wanting to have sex with them. Which is why he feels guilty. I also want to add that he has had problems with porn and I'm not sure if this contributes to it. Now I'm curious, is it like this with ALL men no matter what the age? Because part of me makes me think it's because he's immature and not ready for a relationship, even though he has said that he wants something real and isn't into the hook up culture. I'm not sure what to think. Any insight? TL;DR: 21 year old boyfriend of 3 months has "dick brain" and thinks about having sex with attractive women. He has expressed this to me 3 times, and says he feels guilty for having those thoughts. He has had problems with porn before and I'm not sure if this contributes to it. Is it normal for all men to have these thoughts no matter what the age, or is he immature? We communicate extremely well and I am glad he has told me this, as it makes me think he genuinely cares about me and wants to change it. Thoughts? Edit: I'm actually 28, not 29. Not sure if that makes a difference, but yeah lol.
2020.09.23 19:27 mashumba-270How do I [27m] get the LOML [27f] back when we had initially broken up and were trying to work things out then I fucked up by lying about sleeping with another woman [29f escort] during our break up when I didn’t need to lie???
Guys it’s a really fucked up situation I find myself in, so grab your popcorn and get ready for story time. I first met this beautiful girl [27f] just over 4 years ago. She was stunning,and my feelings grew to her so quickly. We got together, and I was the happiest man alive, but maybe I just didn’t show it well enough. She was my peace, she calmed me and she knew how to love me in all the love languages that make me the man I am including quality and acts of service this girl was everything. PAY ATTENTION HERE... Fast forward to around 1.5 years into the relationship, she caught me messaging some escorts that I had been introduced to by work colleagues (fucked up I know) at that time I was working for one of the Big 4 so I am sorry but from my experience drugs, alcohol abuse and sex are just a norm...it’s work hard play hard. Anyway she was hurt, but we were on holiday when she found these messages on my phone, the reality is I actually had no intention of doing anything I was just very curious to find out so I had asked them about prices etc because I was just really curious and never proceeded to do anything. Long story short on this part, we moved on from it but perhaps we didn’t iron it out or go into detail about it as were were on holiday and I thought we had moved on. I think she may have come across this again, but during another time but I had done it all at the same time so it wasn’t a repeat offence it was simply her finding out about another 2 escorts I had messaged on Instagram at a later date...trash I know l, but I have to be honest about everything in order to get the best advice and own up to my mistakes. We then continued our relationship, we were thriving and I was always content with her she gave me her all. She wasn’t perfect don’t get me wrong but that’s reality we are all imperfect but we do try, and in her case it was nowhere near anything I had done just some minor hiccups. Fast forward to last year, we broke up. She cited differences in our paths and where we were in life. I am reasonably successful and have done pretty well career wise so I am grateful. She wasn’t quite sure what she wanted to pursue and she was going through a tough time and felt I didn’t supper her emotionally, which I admit. It was tough, and I had lost the love of my life (LOML), I didn’t think I would ever be able to move on. During our break up we didn’t talk for a few months and then we slowly began to talk again when I reached out to her and meeting up towards the end of last year and beginning of this year. I really wanted her back and I really cared about her. KEY PART SO PAY ATTENTION HERE AGAIN... During the month of ~October last year I slept with an escort who I had met. Me and my ex were not taking at the time and I didn’t think we had a chance I thought we were done. Me and the escort became friends along with some of her mother friends both male and female (not all escorts). I slept with this woman 3 times, once for consideration and the other 2 for no consideration as we had become “friends with benefits” so to call it. This was the lowest point of my life, I didn’t know how I got here, my head was gone and torn from splitting with who I thought I would never split with. I don’t know how I let this happen. But I accepted it and I moved on. I was getting therapy at this time, I had a lot of issues around my anger, the neglect and reject I felt from never meeting my biological father and I finally accepted I was addicted to pornography, I found my place with God again after this had happened which I ironed out and I managed to get my head straight again and found my place with God. With the above in mind, I stayed friends with the escort and we would chat sometimes where on FaceTime her and the other friends I had become friends with would just chat, it was no longer a friends with benefits thing at all. We continued to chat even until this year as much as 2/3 months ago but we would chat maybe once every month just to catch up because we were just cool. NOW TO THE RECENT EVENTS KEY KEY PART... Before went away on holiday recently I wanted to tell her what had happened during our break up, specifically that I had slept with an escort, so I asked her in the home she would say she has slept with someone else and then I would admit I did too which was fine as we were not together, but she said not and immediately I got scared that if I said yes she would be hurt and decide to cut things off and not work out getting back together. So what did I do? I lied and I said I didn’t sleep with anyone...bit mistake. She said okay and we carried on fine. We went away recently, had a great time and got to spend some time together. But during our holiday she went through my phone and messages. She then saw the messages messages with the escort, and unfortunately I had said things like I’ll cone over but it was to hang out nothing more and she will obviously not believe that that was true. She saw images where the escort had sent pics of her friends trying to her me to come over and I had even said I am never coming there again. So, as you can see, I asked her about sleeping with someone else, she said no, I lied, and then she found I lied and worst of all with an escort, which took us right back to the curiosities I had had when she caught me messaging escorts ~2.5 years before that. WHERE WE ARE NOW We got back from our holidays and she decided to end things and not pursue getting back together. She cited that I have a problem with escorts and she finds it hard to trust me. She worries too much and our trust is broken. She loves me, but love is not enough. Now I know you may think I am trash and I own up to my mistakes. But I had genuinely changed and I had got over all this escort stuff and was moving on with my life. But she struggled to see that as believe that. I am devastated she has decided to not work things out, and I am truly hurt that I may have lost the LOML forever. So Reddit, what can I do and how can I get her back? I have been honest ask I can get the best advice with no prejudice.
2020.09.23 19:25 BellydanceWitchcraftMy relationship with my misogynistic and narcissistic father has caused me to be completely out of touch with myself/a pickmeisha
I'm currently in the process of realizing that my relationship with my father has trained me into severe Pickmeisha tendencies and distorted views about love/men. I'm on vacation with my dad right now and I'm noticing things in a way that I've never really been able to put into words before. My dad is a narcissist - and I'm not just throwing that word around. He has no concept of boundaries, he's the kind of person that will offend you and when you stand up to him, he will turn it back around on you telling you that you "hurt his feelings". If you set a boundary he will become offended. He is also a provocateur; he enjoys saying offensive and rebellious things for the sake of stirring people up. He is also chronically negative, constantly pointing out his annoyances and dislikes as if everyone else should care. And last point here I'll mention is that he has heavily misogynistic tendencies - he constantly points out women on the street, on TV, EVERYWHERE, and has some kind of comment about their looks/body. Just yesterday we went on a walk and he pointed out a young woman who he said he thought might be pretty, but that her posture was so bad that she wasn't. Later, he pointed her out again and said "oh, she doesn't have a butt, thats the problem." This girl was most likely younger than me (I'm 25.) I said "dad, she's younger than me" and he said "thats never stopped me." When I was 14, he would not stop commenting on my 14 year old friend who had a very mature body and large breasts. He would constantly mention how attractive she is, and to this day he still asks about her. I don't believe my dad is a pedophile - he wouldn't actually pursue and have sex with a young woman. (He's cheated on his wife/had affairs, and they were both with women in his age range. Plus, he's fucked up, but he's just not a pedophile.) When I've tried to talk to him about how he talks about women, including young women, he says he shouldn't have to suppress his natural male tendencies just because women don't like it. I agree that men shouldn't feel "suppressed", but theres a way to have your thoughts and keep them to your fucking self, especially around your daughter. My dad has also commented on my body this way, I wear baggy clothes around him because I don't want him to assess my body. He also will ask inappropriate questions under the guise of "joking", like after a date asking me "did he cop a feel?" I have to act jokey and laugh it off/never act too serious around him about being upset or else he will get mad at me. Ok, so, I'm rambling here, but you get the picture. The way he has treated me throughout my life has given me an adaptive strategy of never standing up for myself or feeling that I have the right to set a boundary. Because I was afraid of him as a young girl, and still kind of am, standing up to him meant starting a scary fight. It meant getting embarrassed, shamed, and put down. Setting any kind of boundary or saying "please stop" meant that I would be punished. Not to mention he is wealthy and manipulates with his money - so if I'm in his good graces I can be provided for in certain ways. The cherry on top of ALL of this, is that I still love him. My dad isn't 100% bad, and I can see how deeply flawed and in pain he is at his core. I have very mixed emotions about him, which makes it hard for me to just completely view him as a monster...because he isn't, he's just a deeply flawed man. The way that our relationship has effected me has definitely made me a Pickmeisha, because I've been hungry for love and attention and completely out of touch with how I feel around men. Up until only recently, I was not able to identify my own emotions or feel the right to even have them and act upon them. I've been so trained to "keep the peace" that its made me out of touch with myself. Often times, I will feel a negative feeling and brush it off, still trying to appease the other person and make sure they like me. It's still a work in progress, but I literally have to allow myself to dislike something. For example, on a date, a guy does something that makes me have a negative feeling...i have to work hard to tell myself, "hey, you didn't like that! its okay that you didn't like that, listen to that!" but another part of me is still so desperate for him to want me and like me, even if don't really like him or was turned off by something he did. My only two serious relationships were with someone who abused me sexually and held a gun to me, and one with a man child who I am embarrassed to admit I ever dated. Between these relationships, I've had a lot of sexual trauma in other ways that I won't go into, and a lot of problems with low self esteem and depression. I was in therapy for 4 years and made a lot of progress, but it seems that theres always more I'm learning and more to heal. I really, really, really want to find my worth and feel good about myself. I want to feel in touch with my emotions around men and able to discern who I like and don't like, but its still just so hard for me. I want to unlearn all the ways I've been a pickmeisha and upgrade. Its so hard to feel like I ever can with my background. Just posting this to get it out there, and would love to hear any wisdom, insights, or support you might have to offer. Tl;dr: My relationship with my dad has made me feel silenced and completely out of touch with my own emotions. His is a misogynist with no boundaries and I have been unable to stand up to him for my entire life. This has impacted my relationship with the male gender and led me into bad relationships and incredibly low self esteem. I'd really like to heal from this and upgrade into someone who feels worthy of a good relationship and who knows what she wants.
2020.09.23 19:24 glutenfreemyassJealousy fuelled threesome fantasy
How do I start? I recently got engaged to my fiancé and it’s been a loving and nurturing relationship of 5 years. We used to have sex w other people separately, and this tome we wanted to do a threesome together for the first time with a person that we both find trustworthy and attractive—my best friend comes into mind. My fiancé and I are both poly bisexuals and both tend to be more attracted to women. I’ve never felt jealous or inadequate around any other people (regardless of gender) that he finds attractive, and in fact I have always encouraged him to flirt with them or pursue them. But this time I do start to have lots of insecurities and feelings of inadequacy coming up after I suggested my best friend to him who he finds “EXTREMELY attractive” and “a rare chance to have sex with someone like that”. Maybe its bc shes too close to me, too close to home. I felt a bit taken for granted by him because I’m not too bad either, but he’s never really used any words other than “you look nice” on me. To give you an idea my friend is a 9 to him and Im probs a 7 or 8 physically. Please don’t lecture me on “this is a objectifying rating system”. Im just giving you a context. I’ve always felt confident enough in my looks however that confidence gets a bit more vulnerable around my fiancé. I guess the right partner brings out the right dysfunction. Im not sure how to feel or how to deal with this. My feelings of inadequacy gets to be projected onto my partner instead of my best friend. And last time I fantasized about him fucking her and I came really quick. What do I do?
2020.09.23 19:22 vxronicasawyerAmerican here, I want to claim dual citizenship (Father born in NI) because America is really starting to suck, but have some questions?
Please let me know if this isn't the right place for this question, but I can't think of any other good subreddits to put it under. My dad's family is from Northern Ireland, and he lived there for 20 years before coming to America, and becoming an American citizen when I was in middle school. I've been back a few times to visit family, and could see myself living there if it came to that, for at least a few years. As you've all probably gotten a glimpse of at some point, Trump has made America a bit of a sh!tty place to live. If he gets re-elected somehow, I might just pull that Uno-Reverse Card and bring my family BACK to Northern Ireland. My Auntie Ann's got a spare bedroom for me and everything, I'm ready. Thing is, I can't figure out how I'm supposed to go about it. I meant to do this when I was a lot younger than I am now (I'm 21), and I forget what stopped me from doing it. I'm really hoping that I haven't aged out of my ability to do this. I have no idea if the passport I'd be getting is for Ireland & NI, or UK & NI. I'd assume the latter for unfortunate reasons, but I don't know for sure. Since I'm from NYC (which, by the way, is apparently an "Anarchist Jurisdiction" now, according to the orange man himself) , I feel like I'd have a hard time adjusting permanently to anything that isn't a city, and if the latter about passports is true, then I don't know if I'd be able to eventually live in Dublin, and I might want to be there for grad school/master's degree reasons (Trinity College and Gaiety School of Acting are two of my absolute DREAM schools for MA/MFA). If I can't get citizenship for /all/ of Ireland, then I guess I at least have the West End theatre scene to look forward to, but... ugh. TL;DR - I'm pretty sure I can claim dual citizenship in Northern Ireland, not sure if I can claim it for all of Ireland and would like to, and need to do it NOW so that I have my options just in case Trump gets re-elected. Incredibly surreal that it's come to this, but oh well, I'd like to have some human rights, so I'll do what I must. You guys are good on that now, right? You guys just decriminalized abortion? You've got same-sex marriage now? Alright, then- EDIT: I completely even forgot to ask! I'm assuming that most opportunities in Theatre are concentrated in bigger cities, but if there are any actors based in NI that want to tell me about their experiences finding work, that would be awesome! I've worked theme park-type jobs too (I'm working at a haunted house now, and if Biden wins the election and I scrap this plan, then I have a renaissance fair job possibly waiting for me with a friend in Arizona some day), and would really be interested in continuing stuff like that as well. Whatever advice y'all can give me is golden! https://preview.redd.it/ar4sj7ujlxo51.png?width=800&format=png&auto=webp&s=f8e5c318ad5eca46929c49d1ee4854e15a38820f
2020.09.23 19:21 Substantial-Tune6233The most conflicted virgin ever
I a 19yr old girl and I wanna lose it I do. I don’t feel peer pressured at all and in some ways I feel like I’m totally ready and in others I feel totally lost and like I want to run and hide. For example I feel confident in myself but not in my body (I’m overweight and have obvious stretch marks that I don’t know if they fade or not and worry that this might make whoever I have sex with uncomfortable). But my desire to do it has just overtaken my anxiety so I joined tinder. Not going to lie the photos I used are of when I was much skinnier (I have childhood trauma that made me stress eat) but I want to believe I still look like that when I don’t. I’ve talked to heaps of guys on their and snapped them so they’ve seen my face but I’ve always made up excuses and end up ghosting them when it comes to them asking me on a date because I worry that: A: they will expect sex when I may not want to B: they won’t want to have sex because I’m a virgin C: they won’t find me attractive or think I look nothing like my photos I also have obviously never had a one night stand before and I’m open to either casual or something serious but I have a strict Mum who’s awkward when it comes to discussing this stuff who I live with who would freak if she saw a guy come over and I would have to lie to her if I went to stay at a guy’s house so it’s not ideal. This anxiety has been a big pain and I think I blew it with this great guy Tom* (doesn’t know I’m a virgin) who was super sweet and smart and liked the same things I like (he even said happy birthday to me) but because I’m insecure I have resulted to ghosting him. It’s a vicious cycle and I know I’m being so cruel and rude but I just don’t know what to do. So here are my questions that really need answering/advice on:
Should I delete tinder and focus on losing weight so I feel more comfortable in myself before I get back out there?
Should I just say screw the system and go out and feel beautiful and have the “if you don’t like my body then that’s not my problem” kinda attitude
Should I contact Tom and say I’m so sorry for ghosting and explain honestly how I’m feeling (being nervous about my virginity etc.) and that if he forgives me I’d like to go out with him (in the hopes that he won’t reject me but god I definitely wouldn’t blame him if he did)?
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